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Heart and Soul -- by Cagewench
Rating: PG-13
Description: Dealing with death... the gang will never be the same.
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive: >
Feedback: always appreciated... catalysts@home.com
For more of my work: http://jane.crimescene.org/~wench/
Dedication: To everyone who loves and/or is a part of "BTVS" (especially the talented actors)
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the "Buffyverse" (but I can dream, can't I?). Thank you, Joss, for allowing me to put your marvelous characters in the stories I design.
Part One
The days had been empty and quiet, as if evil had gone on holiday and left Sunnydale for a new home. The nights had been almost dull and mundane compared to the heyday of the Slayer and her friends. This night, however, was darker than the Scooby gang could remember.
How strange the world feels when tragedy strikes. As if life were a piece of tissue paper, easily shredded and discarded. Colour stained the pavement as the rain spilled down upon them.
Buffy Summers-Finn looked up with eyes so full of despair; it was if they were the gateway to Hell. Her pink mouth moved and trembled. No words were released. Her throat closed upon the words. She swallowed the anguish and cradled the lifeless head in her lap. Emoting nothing.
They were in a tableau. Frozen actors awaiting direction. Not knowing their lines. Not aware of the final page of the script.
A trim figure moved quietly towards Buffy. Gentle hands turned the Slayer's face upwards. Locking eyes with her.
"We have to get out of here. No one can help him now."
Riley pulled his wife to her feet and she swayed into him, screaming against his broad chest. He clutched her to him, feeling the incredible pounding of her heart as she screamed and keened like a wild animal.
The rest of the gang came closer, moving like zombies. They were all in shock, but they huddled close to one another, seeking comfort in this terrible time.
A name was cried out by them all. A last salute of love, the first acknowledgment of the truth they could not deny.
"Giles!"
Buffy made the arrangements. Giles had wanted to be cremated and so she followed his wishes. It was the most difficult thing she had done in her 28 years.
They all spoke of their love for him. His extreme intelligence and his loving nature. He had been a father to all of them.
Afterwards, they had a gathering at Giles' -- no, it belonged to all of them now. Surprisingly none of them had known of Giles' wealth. He had left it all to them. His beloved children.
Buffy. The first daughter of his heart. His last Slayer.
Willow. The sweet Witch with the knack for research that he spoiled rotten without anyone knowing. If he had only been younger or she had been a little older...
Anya. The former demon had grown on him and found her own place in his soul. Maybe somewhere around his spleen, but she was there. Her bizarre combination of naiveté and ancient knowledge had always fascinated him.
Cordelia. How he had missed her version of the Chase charm when she had left for LA However, he'd kept in touch with her. Always encouraging her to live to her full potential. He had sensed what a well-rounded woman she could grow to be and he was proud that his prediction had been correct.
Xander. As much as he had grumbled about Xander, Giles had a soft spot for him. Xander tried so hard for so long to be what he thought everyone wanted. When he finally stopped, he began to feel pride in himself. He gained more respect from the gang because he deserved it.
Wesley. The man who had started out as an annoying twit had grown to be one of Giles' closest friends over the years. Once they had worked through their prior ex-Watcher issues, they had delighted in besting one another. Though Giles usually let Wesley win.
He hadn't left anything for Spike or Angel knowing that they had their own means for caring and providing for themselves.
They gathered and spread his ashes over the remains of the old Sunnydale high school library. As shattered as they were, they stood there, as steadfast as soldiers as the wind whipped his ashes away. They believed he was at peace.
How wrong they were.
Part Two
What a night it had been. Giles wiped his spectacles to remove some leftover vampire dust. He had been indoors, reading his email when he suddenly knew something was wrong. Giles had considered calling the gang, but they were married now, or at least living together and Willow had managed to become pregnant thanks to Spike and some magical intervention so he didn't want to disturb them until he was certain he needed them.
Giles cautiously walked in the shadows. Being as silent as possible thanks to some lessons from Angel the last time he'd been in LA to visit Cordelia and Wesley. What he wanted to be doing was chatting on ICQ to Madison, someone he had loved long ago when he had first become a Watcher. He chuckled to himself for wanting to be online, considering how leery he had once been of such things. A memory enfolded him in its warm embrace as he recalled how the others had reacted when he had Willow set up a state of the art home computer system for him 8 months ago.
Xander had simply boggled, "Are you a Wishverse Giles? Since when have you caught up with the world? Or did someone tell you about adult sites?" He leered at Giles for a moment until Anya slugged him in the kidneys.
"Honey," she gazed lovingly into his eyes, "Grow up."
He huffed indignantly, "Easy for you to say. You've had well over a thousand years to work on it and you're still --" he paused in his diatribe as her look of death enveloped him, "I love you."
Anya winked at Giles over her shoulder and caught Willow and Buffy giving her a thumbs up. She smiled winningly. Anya had grown into quite the young woman, once she got over her horror at noticeably aging.
That had been a fun time. He was so proud of all of them. And Rupert Giles felt positively blessed to be able to have such a unique and loving family as he did. His chest puffed out with pride and, in that moment of recall, he did not sense the specter of Death lurking so close.
"Giles!" Buffy bolted up in bed, covered with perspiration and clinging to Mr. Gordo.
"What's wrong?" Her husband woke instantly and moved to comfort her.
"A vision. We might be too late!"
"Let's go." Riley began to pull on clothes.
A pale white hand twirled around a tanned nipple and tweaked.
"Hey!"
"Shush!" And the hand repeated the action.
"Damn it, Anya!"
"Xander," her dark eyes seemed to suck him into her soul until he was drowning, pleasurably, in their depths, "When are you going to make an honest woman out of me?"
"What?"
"We are living in sin. I want to be married, to you, preferably. And I caught the bouquet at Buffy's wedding, but Willow got married next anyway."
"Kitten," Xander smoothed her wild hair on the pillow, "Give me a couple of more years to save some money. Please."
"Money? If that's all you need, why didn't you ask me? I have tons of it. Of course most of it is in gold coins and jewels and such."
"What? Since when are you loaded? I've been busting my ass to support you and I never asked for a thing in return, but you could of volunteered."
Her eyes filled with tears, "First, I thought that you were meant to provide for me and that I was to make a nice home for you and shag you senseless as my contribution to our relationship. Later, I didn't tell you because I wanted to be sure you loved me for who I was, not what I had. Then I didn't tell you because it had gone on for so long as it was and, most recently, I decided not to tell you and instead save it for the children."
"What children?"
"The ones we're going to have in about 7 months."
He looked at her, utterly flabbergasted.
"I love you, Anya."
They kissed passionately and sank back down on the bed to share their love when the phone rang.
"Xander, Giles is in trouble. We're all going to look for him."
Willow hung up the phone and ran into Spike's embrace.
"I'm afraid we might be too late."
"NO! Oh God, not like this. Not like this!" Cordelia began convulsing at Angel's breakfast table. They'd been up late working on a case and he was making potato pancakes and had sent Wesley out for maple syrup.
Angel clutched Cordelia in his arms, to keep her from hurting herself and yelled for Wesley's assistance as he heard the elevator opening.
When she recovered, her eyes felt like they were burning and her throat felt as if she had swallowed razor blades. She threw her arms around two of the most important men in her life and sobbed helplessly.
"Giles is dead."
It had been quick and deliberate. An ancient demon with a score to settle with the ex-Watcher. Poor Ripper hadn't known what form Death would take until it was too late.
"M'scalu-Thean, I banished you before I became a Watcher. You were not to walk the earth for centuries."
The demon smiled.
"You are a dead man, Ripper."
"Ethan?" Giles asked in confusion.
An earth-rattling laugh echoed in the stillness of the night. The humidity was suffocating. Giles found himself praying for rain.
"I ate his soul, and now I will have yours."
Giles steeled himself. Centering his energy before striking. He leapt into action, as if he were young again and still called "Ripper."
(*)With Ethan gone, no one will call me that again. I'll miss him.(*)
He ducked and feinted. Avoiding the acid that M'scalu-Thean could emit from his mouth and nostrils. Giles struck him squarely with the battle axe and it stuck firmly into the demon's spine.
He was weaponless.
Then, he was dead.
Giles hovered over his body with a disjointed sense of something being wrong. Not the being dead part, there was nothing he could do about that. He watched as it fell to the pavement, blood seeping from his skull. He felt a curious separation of selves, as if his corporeal form was "Giles" and his non-corporeal form, or soul, was "Rupert."
As if the sky needed to mourn, the clouds let loose with a deluge. Rain beat down against the earth and began to spread the pool of blood over the sidewalk, like the remnants of a child's chalk drawing.
Then he heard the animalistic battle cry of his children. They had arrived too late, somehow realizing he was in danger. In unison, they used their special gifts to destroy M'scalu-Thean.
"I still win!"
Buffy beheaded the demon and Xander quipped, "Yeah, 2nd prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10."
Then, they turned to Giles. Disbelief flooded them.
Silence.
Slowly Buffy sank to her knees and ever so gently, cradled Giles' head in her lap. She seemed as lifeless as he did. Barely breathing as she realized that she had failed the truest father she had ever known.
No one moved a muscle.
No one wanted to admit that this was horribly real.
(*)Why am I still here?(*) Rupert wondered, (*)Shouldn't I be in the afterlife now?(*)
"No, Rupert. I'm afraid you can't leave this reality," a sad voice caressed his name.
"Jenny?"
Part 3
Rupert was stunned; his spirit reached out for hers. His ghostly limbs passed through her more viscous ones.
"Jenny," his eyes shone with a mixture of disbelief, love and tears, "I don't understand. Why am I still here on this plane of existence? Why can't I --" His voice broke and he whispered painfully, "Touch you?"
"Oh Rupert," her voice was filled with longing, "It's all my fault."
"Oh Giles," Buffy began to sob brokenly, "No. No!"
Willow moved to comfort her when she swayed dizzily. Spike supported his wife and comfortingly rubbed her stomach, feeling an outpouring of love as their child moved.
"Love, I know you're in shock, but you have to center yourself." He pressed his lips to her fevered brow, "Giles wouldn't want our baby endangered by grief."
"I know, I know. But he was my father too."
"And mine," sobbed Anya.
The group huddled together, drawing comfort from one another.
Time passed as if in seconds. His wonderful family moved as if they were broken. Shattered people working like puppets. Little time for thought, or emotion. The numbness enveloped them like a thick fog.
Willow was in the hospital being monitored. The baby was due in just a few weeks and Spike and the others were afraid that something might go wrong. When the coroner had arrived to remove the body, Willow had collapsed.
The redheaded Witch had always been the Pollyanna of the group, finding good things in even the darkest moments. She couldn't find anything good in this though.
(*)Oh Goddess, am I so horrible that I am wishing it had been a vampire who'd done this? At least then, Giles would still be with us.(*)
"Will," Anya pushed open the door and sat on the bed beside her friend, "I've just lost Giles. I can't lose you too. Besides, I need you to give me a crash course on impending motherhood."
The petite ex-demon began to cry. Her hot, salty tears streamed down her face, pelting Willow.
"Hey," Willow reached out and hugged Anya, "Don't try to drown me then."
Startled, Anya began to laugh and then cry in earnest as she and Willow held each other. Shaking like leaves in a windstorm.
"Jenny, why the Hell am I following around my body? And how can whatever this is, be your fault?"
"If it had not been for me, Willow would not have followed in my footsteps. Whatever you want to call her, Witch, techno-pagan, Sorceress... she would not have become what she is if she had not accessed my files after Angelus killed me."
"Nonsense, it's a gift in her bloodlines. We could have never stopped her development and I, for one, would not have wanted to. She's been an asset to us all the more as she's grown into her powers."
"But Rupert, you don't realize what has happened to you."
"Then tell me. Don't keep it from me."
"You're trapped. Do you see that crystalline cord?"
He looked around and examined himself, "Yes."
Jenny wiped a wayward tear from her eye, "You are permanently anchored to your body. That cord means that you cannot enter the afterlife. It would have prevented a demon from inhabiting your form had you been turned, but it stalls you in death. You are in limbo. A restless spirit unable to fully cross over."
"What are the ramifications of this?"
"I don't know."
Xander looked with horror at Amy. She was like an updated model of Dru. Her hair hanging down, her eyes crazed, her fangs gleaming.
"You did this to me!" She threw Xander across the table, "You let me die. You let them turn me! How can you live with yourself, Alexander Harris? How?"
He struggled to his feet, "I couldn't kill you. I thought Buffy and the rest of us would be able to save you. Honestly, Amy. I didn't want this to happen to you."
"Better to me than to your personal demon," her mouth curled into a sardonic smile, "No, she and that Tara and Willow finally turned me back into myself. I was so happy to be alive and then, in a matter of months, I was dead! All because of you," her finger jabbed him in the chest as she backed him into a corner."
"You couldn't save me. You watched as Faith killed Oz because you couldn't bring yourself to kill her. You were more interested in having sex than in being there for Giles. There has been so much death in your life and you always fail the people you want to protect. I remember Jesse. Probably more than you do. I had a crush on him for years and if you'd died instead of him, maybe my life wouldn't have ended like this!" Amy snarled, "You're worthless and weak. You don't deserve to live."
Her hands began choking him. Xander struggled, unwillingly flashing back to the night he'd lost his virginity. That's why he couldn't kill Faith. Everything Amy accused him of was true. He stopped fighting and offered her his neck.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Anya was just home from the hospital when she heard screaming and hurried into the bedroom.
"Xander."
He bolted up in bed, sweating profusely. Anya rested her hand on his forehead, "You were having the Amy nightmare again, weren't you?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
Buffy walked through the cemetery, feeling the sun beat down on her. Trying to melt her icy core. It could not. She lowered herself into a sitting position and laid her head against the smoothness of the cool headstone.
"Hi Mom," she began, "It's been awhile since I was here and I'm sorry." She began mechanically weeding the grave as she continued to speak, "So now I've lost Giles. And you and Dad. My world is falling apart, Mom."
The Slayer re-positioned herself, drawing her knees up to her chin as she hugged her legs, "I'm just getting so tired. I am the oldest Slayer in recorded history and I don't know how much longer I can do this."
She cried softly, not even aware of her own whispering, "I can't do this anymore."
"Oh my bloody Christ!" Rupert screamed.
Jenny was helpless. There was nothing that she could do to soothe him. They had begun to discern the painful ramifications of his anchored soul.
Even though his body was dead, Rupert still experienced pain. As the autopsy was occurring, his spirit flickered in and out as he shrieked with pain. Jenny stayed with him, grimacing as the coroner sliced him open, pushing open the ribcage to examine Giles' internal organs.
Rupert could not control the howling moans that issued from him.
The entire universe was one of pain.
To Be Continued
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