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Temporal Folds of a Memory So Lost and Never to Be Recovered -- by Elka
Rating: PG-13
Description: An episode rewrite of the "Angel" episode "I Will Remember You" - using Willow and Spike.
Disclaimer: This author does not own or claim to own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Willow sat down on the sofa, tucking her legs under her, resti
ng her face on the back cushions. She sighed happily, a smile playing across her lips. She closed her eyes to remember the events of the past few days.
Temptation had taken it's toll on the two crushes. She had wanted Spike, Spike had wanted her, but they knew it could never happen. Not the way they wanted it to. Spike was a vampire. Willow was a human. They had both witnessed the heartbreaking demise of Buffy and Angel's relationship and Angel had a soul. How could they're budding romance every blossom?
If only Spike were human.
But they had held steady to each other through whispered flirtations, long stares, and casual contact if they passed each other in Giles' apartment. They had both longed for so much more, though.
Buffy had fallen ill with a mystical disease given to her when she pissed off a pretty random demon in the cemetery one evening. Spike and Willow had, quite willingly, spent many hours researching her condition before finally coming up with a spell.
While Buffy recovered, Willow, who had come quite skilled and often fought alongside her, with the rest of the Scooby gang had taken up her patrolling duties, keeping the streets semi-safe while she was out of commission. The redhead only lacked Buffy's same strength, but in most situations, she could hold her own.
One evening, Spike and Willow had fallen prey to a powerful fighting demon who called himself Mohra. He had fought Spike long and hard who exhibited the determination to keep Willow safe at all costs. Even if the price were his life. He refused to let Willow fight for him.
Mohra had escaped after getting a mouthful of the two, but not before drawing a bit of Spike's blood. He had wiped it from his lip without another thought and headed back to his new apartment, Willow in tow.
She had assured him that she was fine over and over again, but he insisted she come back and spend the night at his place, the sun would be out soon and he didn't want to risk her running into the Mohra demon alone.
They had fallen asleep immediately, wrapped innocently in each other's arms.
Willow was the first to wake up the next morning, she hadn't been able to resist a smile when her eyes had rested upon Spike's sleeping form. The way his lips pursed firmly, his eyes closed gently, the way the sunlight illuminated his face.
Sunlight.
Willow had froze with unidentifiable emotion. She was confused, but it paralysed her. As she stared at him, trying to decide what to do, she had listened to the pounding heart in her chest. The pounding had been doubled.
Because there were now two hearts beating.
Spike and Willow had rushed to Giles', walking in direct sunlight the whole way. Casting away his insecurity, Spike had insisted they had stopped for ice cream. He had savoured every lick, loving the ability to taste food again.
She had to smile when she watched him and when he smiled back at her, she knew it was real.
Giles had told them what they had dreamed to here. Spike was indeed human again. The Mohra demon had mixed their blood.
Nothing could describe the feelings Willow had felt when the words were finally spoken. She had reached a hand out for his, entwining warm fingers together.
That night, basking in the joy of their first of many days together, they had gone for a walk in the park. Spike had watched his first sunset in over 125 years. The scene had brought tears to Willow's eyes.
As they had approached the gates to the park, Mohra again made an appearance, blocking their path with renewed intentions to kill them Spike had fallen trying to protect Willow. She had killed him, smashing the jewel as Giles had advised them to do, should they run into the demon again. Spike had stayed quiet the rest of the evening, lost inside himself.
They made love for the first time that night.
Willow lifted her head and opened her eyes, hearing Spike's footsteps on the stairs. She stood, smoothing the folds of the red dress that fell softly around her.
He didn't look at her as he stepped into the room.
"I'm guessing that look isn't because they were all out of fresh OJ at the deli." She lost her smile. "What happened?"
"Nothing happened." He lied. "I just..."
"Where have you been?" She asked.
Spike looked at her with startiling blue eyes. "I went to the Oracles."
"Oracles?"
"The powers that be... I asked them to turn me back."
"What? Why?"
"Because more than ever I know how much I love you."
Willow backed away from, hitting her shin on a small table. She reached back to steady herself.
"No. No, you didn't. Say you didn't."
Spike held an arm out to her. He gave her the truth straight out, he couldn't beat around the bush. He skipped directly to the pain. "And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead. Maybe both of us. You heard what Mohra said."
Disbelief stung. "Mohra's dead. We killed him."
"He said others would come." Spike pushed gently.
"They always come." Willow insisted. "And they always will. But that's my job now. And Buffy's and everyone else's. Not yours. You're human, remember?"
"No." He said firmly. "I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone." "Then we fight together." Tears pierced the corners of her eyes.
"You saw what happened last night." Spike shook his head. "If anything, I'm a liability to you. You take chances to protect me and that's not just bad for you, it's bad for the people we were meant to help."
"So what?" Willow shot back. "You just took 24 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being Joe regular and decided it was more fun to being superhero?"
"You know that's not it. How can we be together if the cost is your life or the lives of others?" His heart skipped a beat when he observed in Willow's pain. They stared at each other a moment, before Spike took her in his arms, she smothered her face in his chest. "I know. I couldn't tell you, luv. I wasn't sure - if I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning."
Willow sniffed. "I understand." She managed. "So, what happens now?"
"The oracles are giving us back the day, turning back time, so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."
"When?"
Spike glanced at the clock. "Another minute."
Her eyes shot open, wide with anguish and hurt. "A minute? No. No, it's not enough time." She tried frantically.
"We don't have a choice. It's done."
"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had?" She dropped her voice. "What we could have had?"
Spike struggled for his own composure. "You won't. No one will know but me."
"Everything that we did..." She grasped his arm for support.
"It never happened."
Willow shook her head. "It did. It did. I know it did." She placed her hand on his chest, watching the rise and fall. "I felt your heart beat..."
"Willow..."
They fell into a kiss. Willow broke it first, looking at the clock over her shoulder. The minute was almost up. The seconds ticked by like lightning streaking toward earth.
"No. Oh God. It's not enough time."
Spike couldn't stop the tears from falling, the love he felt consumed him. "Shh, luv, please. Please."
The two lovers clung to each other.
Willow whispered in his ear. "I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget..."
-----
Spike glanced at Willow's innocent face. She smiled brightly at him, continuing the animated story she was spinning for the group.
The pain stabbed him in a heart he wished for everything would beat.
He forced a smile of his own. He would carry this memory forever.
Willow watched Spike as she spoke. She masked her sadness easily.
It would never work.
She could never tell him.
She could never till him that she remembered.
That she remembered it all.
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