Willow's "Dear Diary" -- by Luisa


Rating: PG

Description: Willows in turmoil.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all.


Oh God....Iīm done for. WHY ME??? What did I ever do, except be myself! Old, humble, happy-go-lucky (well, most of the times...) Willow Rosenberg. God, even the name gives out the image of an upright, respectable Sunnydalian!

Iīm sooo tired...but Ihave to get this into writing, otherwise Iīll think it all a dream tomorrow...and, somehow, I donīt think Spike would dance a jig if I stood him up on Friday. Yeah...I have a date with our very own William, the Bloody aka Spike....grrrr....if I think about him too much, my blood will start boiling all over again....

He *kissed* me!!! And I slapped him....I canīt believe I *did* that! Anyway, I really showed him! I did!!! He thought heīd have everything his own way, but, no sir, I gave him a piece of my mind! Where does he get off grabbing me as if I were an umbrella or...or...well, any other household object! He...he...RIPPED MY SKIRT!!! The blue one...OK, OK, I did try to get away from him, but what in Godīs name did he expect me to do?

Stay and have tea with him? Oh.......I can just picture it.

Brrrrrrrr......

"Cream and sugar?"

"Yes, please. Thank you so much!"

WILLOW! Focus on the topic, if you please.....! God...if Buffy finds out about this, sheīll think Iīve finally cracked. And sheīll be absolutely right in thinking that! After all, I *did* promise to go out with him. Not that I had much choice. He practically bullied me into it. Very smooth, Spike...but then you shouldīve seen his face when I looked him straight in the eye and said in my most ladylike, contemptuous, Itīs- Miss Rosenberg-to- you way: "But bear this in mind: you have A LOT to learn where women are concerned!" Ha!

That showed him whoīs boss. I think he actually considered sinking his teeth into me at that point...but changed his mind. I gave him no time to think of an answer and started walking away. I was totally in control and didnīt look back once to see if he was following me or not. WILLOW WARRIOR-PRINCESS!!!

Hey! Wait a minute...I didnīt tell you what happened from the very beginning, did I? I have to, otherwise youīll think I got my knickers in a twist over nothing! Well, listen to this: there I was, minding my own business, looking forward to coming home and checking my e-mail for that new spell I asked about, wearing my brand-new, blue skirt (and for once Mom had actually bought something I liked!)...when suddenly I hear this this deep voice behind me, all cocky and cool: "My...donīt you look smashing tonight!". First of all, he scared the hell (oops, where did that word come from?...) out of me and second, when I turned around and looked at his face, I saw him ogling me as if I were a piece of meat at a butcherīs window. That did it. I turned on my heel and started making a dash for home, leaving him there on his own...

Fat chance! He ran after me and grabbed me by the skirt (of all places!), ripping it almost in two and making us both tumble over. Nice going, Spike! Iīm all out-of-breath and shaken and the idiot grins at me as if Iīd just said something funny! Whatever. I just straightened my skirt (or tried to...) and said nothing. Now that I think of it, he actually looked a bit like Xander after one of his jokes...Men!

OK, Spike did apologize...not as in "please forgive me, Iīm a jerk" but as in "sorry about all this, pet". Pet?! Oh well. Anyway, I was actually pretty surprised to hear the vampire of all vampires, the big,bad demon everybodyīs dead afraid of apologizing to me, Willow Rosenberg.

I wonder if he saw under my skirt when we fell...oh my God...I didnīt give him much of a chance to look, but...what if he did?

Ow......head hurts. Ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow.....

And then....then he touched me! Just like that. On the cheek. I actually felt his gaze on my neck the whole time, but gave him the donīt-get-any-ideas look. Oh and then he goes and asks why I had run away from him. Well, Spike, take a really wild guess...it was then that that I let him have it. I yelled...something, something (canīt really remember) almost banged head on the pavement...didnīt know his own strength, yada, yada, yada...I guess I was still in mourning for my beautiful skirt...

He looked kinda sheepish for a moment, but by then Iīd had enough. I got up...OH! He offered to buy me some new clothes! Ha! As if I were some kinda...you know. I refused, of course. With his taste in clothes, Iīd either have ended up looking like a total....ahem...or, worse, like Drusilla! You get the picture, donīt you?

Anyway, I was feeling very tired all of a sudden...and the fact that he was glowering at me as if heīd really like to teach me a lesson didnīt help...yikes!

He bullied me into agreeing to let him take me home, but youīve already heard that part and how I let him have some more of the Willow-medicine. He made me promise to go out with him for dinner somewhere. wonder what heīll have as main course...Noooo...Iīd rather not know!

And then the kiss....Hmmmm, it was OK, I guess. The world didnīt shatter around me and the stars didnīt fall from the sky. Well, he probably saw them falling from the sky when I slapped his arrogant, cocky face!

Donīt ask me where I found the guts to do it...I guess I just saw red. OK, Iīll be honest! After all, nobodyīs gonna read this. I enjoyed the kiss. But thatīs the first and last time youīll ever hear me say this! And now, goodnight...thanks for being there. Itīs not like I can talk to Buffy about this....

If I dream of him, youīll be the first to know.......and heīll be the last....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Your Willow

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