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I Change but Cannot Die Series - Shadows of Turning -- by Ruby
Rating: NC-17
Description: The best laid plans... , sequel to Past Regrets and Future Fears.
Note: Conclusion of the I Change but Cannot Die Series. Dedication -- To everyone who sent me feedback. You make writing too much fun!:-)
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
Buffy knelt over the lifeless body of Kirsten Martin. Xander was missing; Giles had gone off on some personal mission, and Angel had been studiously avoiding her. She wiped a tear from her face and stood up, wondering when her life had hit the rocks and where to look for the debris.
"Spike turned her," Giles said to Xander from across the attic room.
"He turned her long before he sunk his fangs into her," Xander replied.
"How could she have been so stupid?"
"Willow is anything but stupid," Giles told him. "And Spike knows it."
"He keeps her on a short leash," Xander agreed. "Not that she seems to be struggling for freedom. Taking you was a big mistake, though. Buffy's bound to come looking for you."
"Buffy has no idea they're back in Sunnydale and no idea that Willow is Spike's childe," the watcher paused for a moment, as if suddenly digesting that fact himself. "This is serious, Xander. Buffy still has feels some affection for her old friend. I only hope she can do what she has to, if it comes down to that."
"Angel," Buffy stood on his doorstep, poised to knock, as the door swung open.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, mildly irritated at having been interrupted on his way out of the apartment.
"It's Kirsten. She's dead. Vampires," Buffy said.
He pulled her inside and closed the door, "You're sure it was vampires?"
Buffy crossed her arms and looked at him impatiently, "It's me, remember? The slayer? I know a vampire's overbite when I see one."
Angel turned away from her and mumbled, "Damn it."
"Damn it? That's it? What the hell is going on here, Angel? And don't tell me you don't know!"
"Buffy, I promised--"
"Screw your promises! Xander disappears; Giles takes off to God knows where, and now Kirsten's dead! This is worse than when Spike ran off with--" her mouth dropped open, and she glared at Angel's back. "Spike and Willow. It's them, isn't it? Angel, talk to me, damn it!"
"Yes," he answered quietly.
"How long have they been here? How long have you known?" she demanded.
"A few days," he said.
"How could you keep this from me? Don't you think you owed me the truth?" she shouted.
Angel turned to her slowly, fury raging in his dark eyes, "Owe you? I don't owe you anything."
"How can you say that? If it weren't for me, you would never have--"
"If it weren't for Willow," he corrected her coldly. "You plunged a sword through me and left me for gone. Willow's the one who brought me back."
Buffy's eyes filled with tears, "Because she knew how much I loved you."
"Partly. But also because she was my friend. While you were trying to find a way to destroy me, she was trying to find a way to save me. And after everything she did to help me, you ran her out of Sunnydale."
Buffy shook her head, "I'm not hearing this. How can you forget what those two did?"
"I haven't forgotten. Did we give them much choice, any of us? What might have happened if we'd left them alone?" he asked.
"So you helped them get away, didn't you? I've always suspected it. Why are they here? Why come back after all this time?" she said.
"This is their home," he shrugged.
"You're telling me Spike was homesick?" she sneeered. "Come on, Angel. What are they doing here? They have Xander, don't they? And probably Giles, too. Where are they?"
"I won't tell you that," he refused.
"They killed Kirsten, and they'll kill the others, too, if they haven't already. You have to tell me where they are," she said.
"I can't. I'll go to them and try to get them to talk to me," he offered.
"You hate Spike! Why are you helping him?"
"I don't hate Willow," he answered.
Buffy's eyes stared into Angel's, "Do you love her?"
Angel stared back in silence until Buffy looked away from him.
"Go talk to them," she said quietly. "I'll wait for you here."
He nodded and left the apartment, determined to put as much distance between himself and the slayer as he could before she followed him.
"Willow, why?" Xander asked as tears coursed down his face.
"Because you loved her. I remember what it feels like to lose somebody you love, to have your whole world torn right out of your grasp," she turned an accusing glare on Giles. "Fortunately, my experience had a happy ending. Can't say the same for yours, though."
"I hate you," he whispered.
"Good. Now you know exactly how I feel," she smiled.
"Kirsten didn't deserve this," Giles spoke.
"And I did?" Willow asked. "Your reasoning escapes me."
"You were infatuated with a demon," he told her.
"And she was infatuated with an ass," Willow spat. "Better to be dead than to be doomed to a future with him."
"So, when does this end? You obviously don't intend to let us leave here alive," the watcher said.
"It ends with the slayer. I want her to suffer. I want her to find your drained and dead bodies and to know beyond any doubt who was responsible," Willow told him.
Giles eyes were averted as Spike turned toward the minion who appeared at the door. Daniel spoke quietly with his master for a moment before nodding and leaving.
"Willow," Spike said.
She took his outstretched hand and cast a cold glare at Xander and Giles as her sire her out of the room.
"We've got to get a guard dog," Spike growled as Angel met them in the corridor.
"Buffy's on her way here," Angel told them. "I got a good start, but she can't be far behind."
"And we're supposed to make a run for it?" Spike scoffed. "I don't think so. Thanks for your trouble, mate, but after all, she is the one we've been waiting for."
"Look, I don't give a damn about you," Angel hissed. "Maybe you can take her, maybe not. But what about Willow? She doesn't have the strength or the experience to fend off a slayer."
"Willow's my concern," Spike snapped.
"Then show some! You know Buffy isn't leaving here without Xander and Giles, and don't tell me they're not here. I know they are. Let me release them. They'll slow Buffy down, give you time to get out of here," Angel reasoned.
Spike eyed him with unabashed hatred, considering what he said.
"No matter what else I think of you, I believe you love Willow," Angel continued. "Buffy won't let past friendship get in the way of taking her out. Revenge can wait. Willow's more important."
"All right," Spike yielded.
"No!" Willow protested. "Not when we're this close! Please, Spike!"
"Baby, he's right. You can't face the slayer head-on. You aren't ready for that. She'll still be suffering long after we're gone. We can finish this another time. I'd give up a lot to bring her down, but I won't give up you."
Angel nodded, "Get out of here. I'll release Giles and Xander and hold Buffy off long enough for you to get back to London."
"I'm getting sick of using you as a bloody travel agent," Spike grumbled.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not doing this for you. I'd just as soon hold you down while Buffy drove you through. I'm doing this for Willow, only." Angel said. "You're wasting time. Get out of here."
"We're right back where we started," Willow lamented as the sun set outside the lair in London.
"No, we're not," Spike put his arms around her and pulled her close.
"Everytime they think of you, they'll remember, and they'll hurt."
"That's true," she smiled slightly. "Still, it would have been nice to--"
"I know, pet. But Sunnyhell isn't going anywhere, and we've got eternity," he told her.
"Eternity with you. Could be worse," she grinned.
"Couldn't be better," he replied and swept her up into his arms.
Willow nestled back against the pillow and drew Spike down to her. Her lips parted, and he thrust his tongue into her mouth as the full length of his body pressed against hers. He parted her legs and pushed slowly into her. She lay still underneath him, savoring the feeling of his cold body filling her, creating one complete being from what had been, in the not so distant past, two aching halves.
"I love you, Willow. Be with me, baby," he spoke softly, echoing the words he had whispered in the shadows of this house on the night of her turning. "Be with me."
"Always," she answered as her body molded into his.
"Leaving," Giles said. "For how long?"
Angel shrugged, "For as long as it takes. I know I can help Willow. I just have to make her want it."
"The human remnant," Giles nodded. "If there's anything left of it."
"It's there," Angel replied. "It'll always be there, inside her."
"I've seen it," the watcher admitted. "When she looks at him."
"I can draw it out of her. Teach her how to listen to it, allow it to guide her. It'll take time, but it can be done," Angel explained.
"And what about Buffy? How does she feel about this?" Giles asked.
"She's not happy," the slayer answered from the doorway. "But I can't stop him if he's determined to do this."
"I am," Angel said gently.
Buffy walked to them and stood beside Giles, "I know you are. I just hope you're not wasting your time."
"Time is the one thing I can afford to waste," he told her. "Our Willow is still in there. She's scared and unsure, but she's there. I need to be with her. Even after everything that's happened, I need to help her."
"I hope you can, Angel. I mean that," Giles told him.
"Thank you. I know you do," Angel said. "Take care of each other." Giles nodded.
"Goodbye, Buffy," Angel looked down at his old love.
Buffy blinked back tears and looked away from him.
"Keep in contact with me. Let me know how things are progressing," Giles requested.
"I will," the vampire smiled.
Angel looked at Buffy for a long moment before leaving the library. The slayer turned, and Giles held her gently as she cried silent tears against his chest.
The End
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