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Left With Tears -- by Ruby
Rating: R (language)
Description: Sometimes, everyone loses.
Note: Just a warning, this story does not end happily. Kind of a depressing thing, really, but it just crawled inside my mind and wouldn't let go. This fic is not connected with any of my other stories.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
The change that had come over her had been so gradual, Willow wasn't exactly sure when it had even begun. The sharp pain that had dwelt within her after Oz's departure had slowly abated to a dull, distant ache.
She walked toward the Bronze as her thoughts drifted back over the past several weeks of her life. Spike's cautious displays of affection for her had been met with the expected suspicions of Buffy, Xander, and Giles. The vampire had chosen words over actions, and her friends had finally decided he really was interested in her, that he had no intention of causing her pain or of using her to hurt any of them. Spike had wooed her broken heart with what she could only describe as uncharacteristic patience. As the weeks passed, she had found it impossible to reject his gentle, but persistent, advances. Last night, she had finally admitted to both the vampire and to herself that his feelings were reciprocated. She had willingly given him her body and had awakened early this morning with the calming realization that Spike was neither a substitute nor a replacement for Oz, but the man to whom her heart truly belonged, the man for whom her heart had been intended from the beginning.
Willow smiled softly to herself as she entered the Bronze and caught sight of her lover and her friends seated at a table near the wall. They were absorbed in conversation, none of them noticing her as she approached. "You talked to her this morning. Did she sound hurt to you?" the blonde vampire asked the slayer.
"No," Buffy answered. "But I told you to get her mind off of Oz. I never told you to sleep with her!" Willow stopped in her tracks, the smiled fading from her lips, and she strained to hear the vampire's reply.
"Bloody hell," Spike grumbled. "I've been chasing the chit for weeks! What the hell did you think was going to happen when I finally caught her? This whole thing was your damned idea!"
Buffy sighed angrily, "Only because she seemed to listen to you. God knows why. She needed to get out of that dorm, have something to do on the weekends besides mope over Oz, and she certainly didn't want to go anywhere with us."
"Can't imagine why," the vampire spat. "She probably figured having her fingernails ripped out would be more bearable than watching you kissing your latest flavor of the week and listening to the git's ex-demon ranting on about their latest fuck-fest."
Buffy slammed her chair back and stood up, anger burning behind her eyes, "You had this planned from the beginning, didn't you?"
"I did what you told me to do," he answered coldly.
"I wanted you to get her to stop crying over Oz!"
"She wasn't crying over him last night," he smirked. The slayer grabbed hold of his collar and yanked him up onto his feet, "You'd better start figuring out how you're going to fix this without hurting her because I'll be damned if you're ever going to see her again!"
"You tell her, then," he suggested, slapping her hands away from him. "Explain to her how this little game was your plan from the start, and how I only agreed because you threatened to--"
"Willow," Xander whispered as his eyes suddenly registered the small redhead standing a few feet away. Buffy's mouth dropped open as her gaze followed his, "Oh, gods, Will--"
She stared back at the trio, her eyes cold and lifeless, "Look at it this way. You don't have to find a way to lie your way out of anything, now. I got it--all of it."
"No!" Buffy cried out as the redhead turned and flew out of the Bronze.
Willow dropped her hastily-packed suitcase in front of the dorm room door, knocked loudly, and pasted on a smile as a tall young woman answered.
"Hi, Kerri. I heard you talking after class the other day about about finding someone to ride home with you this weekend. I only need a one-way ride, but I can pay half the gas if you're still--"
"Yeah," Kerri nodded and glanced down at the suitcase.
"You're lucky you caught me. I was going to leave straight from my evening class, but I got to my car and realized I'd forgotten one of my bags. Looks like you're ready, though. You won't need a ride back on Sunday? What are you doing, dropping out?"
"Something like that," the redhead replied.
"She won't be here," Buffy said as she stepped out of the elevator ahead of Xander and Spike. "I'm the last person she wants to see right now."
"Well, we've looked everywhere else," Xander told her as they followed her down the hall. The slayer slipped her key into the lock and pushed open the door.
"Not here," she announced. Xander's eyes settled on the open closet door, and he walked over to it and gestured to its empty interior, "Completely not here."
Spike moved to the dresser between the two beds and lifted an envelope that was propped up against the lamp. Turning, he handed it to Buffy, and she took it and pulled out the slip of paper tucked inside.
"Gone. Willow," she read the simple message, her voice shaking in anguish.
"You damned bloody bitch," Spike snarled and grabbed hold of her throat, stubbornly ignoring the blinding pain in his head as he threw her violently into the desk across the room.
"Why the hell do you even care?" Buffy demanded angrily as he stormed toward the door.
"Because I love her," he shouted before slamming the door hard enough to rattle the walls. The crumpled note in the slayer's hand drifted to the floor as she broke down in hard sobs of pain. Xander pulled her forcefully into his arms as hot tears of regret spilled from his eyes.
Spike entered the empty bedroom and stared over at the rumpled sheets on his bed. Willow's singular scent still hung delicately in the air. He reached for the pillow on which she had slept less than twenty-four hours ago. Sinking to his knees, he clutched the pillow to him, burying his face in it as his body shook in bloody tears of loss.
The End
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